Vagineer
The Vagineer is a famous GMod Monster species that appears in many Gmod machinimas. They resemble an Engineer from Team Fortress 2, but his lower jaw has been stretched downward to the point of resembling a female's genitalia. The first Vagineer was created by YouTube user J16FOX, but more species and variants have been created by other users, such as Mssnor and Jettan. Even if Vagineer is a very famous (if not even the most famous) Gmod Monster, he doesn't have an official theme song. A couple of people have tried to remedy this with varying degrees of success, but none are as yet officially recognized. Bio Vagineers are a very mysterious variety of Gmod Monsters. They speak in "Vaginese", their own unique language that mostly consists of Engineer's voice clips in reverse, with a few exceptions like "Gottam", and they are typically ill mannered toward others. Most Vagineers often kill and devour their victims violently and horribly, but sometimes they are friendly and docile. Some have been known to lend a helping hand in times of need, but they are easily offended and do not take lightly to insults. Origins Vagineers are possibly from another universe entirely. They have been known to distort reality to their liking; often they use this ability to turn victims into "Vagi" versions of themselves. They have been known to interact with other Gmod Monsters, and have been able to summon creatures such as the Snyphurr. There is also a theory which says that the Vagineer is the result of a sort of virus or parasite called "Vagineerus Hamalus". Theory 1 Some believe that Vagineers were created when a newbie RED Engineer on Goldrush was forced to listen to someone micspamming Justin Bieber's 'Baby'. Being a newbie without a mic, and lacking anyone helpful on the server, the Engie did not know how to mute a particular player. Prolonged exposure to the effeminate tones of Bieber causes increased estrogen production in whoever listens to them. This particular Engineer was affected by this in such a way that his mouth distorted into a vulvic shape. The flawed logic of the micspammer disrupted the Engie's reality, making him speak in reverse. This also gave him his unusual powers. The newly created Vagineer went insane, devouring the micspammer and anyone else in his way. Theory 2 It is also possible that Vagineers were created as a direct result of Half-Life's Resonance Cascade. The dimensional rift created at Black Mesa affected the Team Fortress 2 Universe as well as Xen, but not in such a violent manner. The laws of physics and logic are much different in TF2 than Half-Life (much more than Xen), and the dimenional breach directly affected a group of unfortunate Engineers. The difference in physics and logic between the two universes caused a "Logical Reflux" that disrupted the Engineers' state of being, causing their mouths to stretch downwards and giving them their present powers and backwards speech. Theory 3 The first Vagineer was originally a normal RED Engineer, when a Spy's Sapper was lodged in his "crotch". Then another Spy had to become an Engispy to save him, destroying the Sapper, but Engineer screamed so loud that his mouth ended up being stretched into a vulvic shape. The explosion also rendered him insane and gave him a craving for human flesh. And... Click here for another Spy-caused Theory... Theory 4 Vagineer was once a normal BLU Engineer. A RED Spy was holding the Engie hostage. The Spy did horribly queer things like this. It made Engie scream until his mouth was stetched to a vuvlic shape. Theory 5 -created by Black Ace and Scampi The newest theory is a long one and provides details into how they came to be and some of their abilities. So sit back and relax. This theory is so long it has its own page! So grab some Mad Milk, maybe a Dalokohs Bar and find a nice, warm place to sit! Come read the story right here! Variations Vagineers have been seen in many different varieties, some of which might be different species entirely. An attempt at an official description of all of them can be seen in "Vagineer: The Documentary" *The RED Vagineer:A moster created by J16FOX2.The typical, bloodthirsty and erratic variety. See The RED Vagineer *The BLU Vagineer:A moster created by Jettan.Despite being less aggressive than the RED Vagineer, they are often shown as one of the strongest and most intelligent varieties, displaying dangerously powerful attacks and impressive agility. At least one has Snyphurr as his "minion" of sorts, whom he can summon with Doc Jarate's Bugle. See The BLU Vagineer *The GRN Vagineer:A moster created by honorcrocketts.Highly offensive with his giant Fist but slow to attack (In The Polite Spy part 5 his first appearance). another video with green vagineer in it *The YLW Vagineer/Vagiminer: A moster created by honorcrocketts.This Vagineer uses a pickaxe and wears a BLU mining hat that shoots out plasma balls to stick his victims to the ground. See The Yellow Vagineer *The PRL Vagineer: A moster created by SarisKhan.A venomous, purple-skinned, bug-footed mutant variety that envenomates its targets with its poisonous vomit. *ORG Vagineer: A monster created by Shirosaki97.This variant is capable of firing lasers from its eyes, one is the main antagonist of The MSG Saga. *The BLK Vagineer/VagiNinja: A moster created by Cheetah1251.This is a nocturnal variant of the species that possesses impressive speed. *The Mastermind Vagineer: A moster created by SarisKhan.A cybernetic Vagineer seen in The Quirky Adventures of Soldine the Cyborg, a TF2 Freak series created by YouTube user SarisKhan. *Vagiboss:A moster created by HalBuzzKill.A bigger and powerful version of the Vagineer that uses a Socket Wrench as his weapon. See The Vagiboss *The Gunslinger Vagineer: A moster created by OluapPlayer/VAGINEER.He was a hatless RED Vagineer that used a Gunslinger. He was the protagonist of The Vagi Series. (Deceased) *The Googly Eyed Vagineer: A monster created by Mssnor/BenderAKAUnder.These are subspecies that is comical, fun-loving and friendly but can give someone bad luck for the rest of their life by pointing his finger at the victim. Mssnor is one of this type. *The Goggle-less Vagineer/Vagistaregineer:A moster created by TheInvertedShadow.The most intelligent variety as well as the most dangerous and rarest. Oddly, it is also is the most friendly, having an uncanny desire to help others. *The Engina:A moster created by doctorheredoctor.A large, stationary, hive-minded Vagineer that inhabits desert regions, it usually preys on unfortunate Spies. *The Scorpion Vagineer:A moster created by doctorheredoctor.A species that has venomous tails and serves a giant Engina. *VagiTrollgineer:A monster created by TheStormriven.He is commonly seen in the form of a normal RED or BLU Engineer that starts trolling like the Trolltizen when he reveals his true Vagineer form. He was first shown Engineer Describes Rarity. *VagiKing: the leader of all Vagineers and also the most powerful variant. Many Vagineers worship him as their father, king, and god rolled into one. *Half-Vagineer: a form of Vagineer whose vagina-mouth hasn't fully-developed yet. Though he can speak backwards, he lacks the ability to shoot off limbs and spit white liquid. *VagiTrance: A monster created by Jettan.This Vagineer that dances and hypnotizes his victims to dance. See The Dancing Vagineer *Scunt/VagiScout :A monster created by wadloprez.He is the "Vagi" version of Scout. *VagiHeavy: the "Vagi" version of Heavy. Very powerful, but lacking in the intelligence department. *VagiSpy:A moster created by Swaitis.He is the "Vagi" version of the Spy. A discreet but arrogant assassin utilizing the powers of both the Vagineer and the regular Spy. *VagiDemo: the "Vagi" version of the Demoman, usually very cheery and friendly. *VagiSoldier: the "Vagi" version of the Soldier. An clinically insane variant that shares many traits with Painis Cupcake. *VagiSniper: the "Vagi" version of the Sniper. An expert marksman with the ability to shoot Jarate from his mouth at deadly velocity. Also VagiSpy's rival. *VagiMedic: the "Vagi" version of the Medic, often seen with a VagiHeavy. *VagiPyro:A moster created by OluapPlayer/VAGINEER.He is the "Vagi" version of the Pyro, one notable example, a demonic creature in disguise, was defeated and killed by the Gunslinger Vagineer. *Scunt's Mom: the "Vagi" version of the Scout's Mother. *Vagiministrator: the "Vagi" version of the Announcer/Administrator. *Vagiton Hale: the "Vagi" version of Saxton Hale. *Vagisolgineer : the "Vagi" version of Solgineer. *Vagisoldine: the "Vagi" version of Soldine *VagiCoach: the "Vagi" version of Coach. *VagiEllis: the "Vagi" version of Ellis. *VagiNick: the "Vagi" version of Nick. *VagiRochelle: the "Vagi" version of Rochelle. *VagiAya: the "Vagi" version of Aya Shameimaru from the Touhou Project series. Little is known about her, except she is capable of flight, due to the fact she's part Tengu, and is slightly perverted. *VagiBelldandy: the "Vagi" version of Belldandy from Ah! My Goddess. *VagiMiku: the 'Vagi' version of Miku Hatsune from Vocaloid. *Vagibrine: A BLU Vagineer that wields a blue recolored Equalizer (post-Pyromania Update) and has glowing white eyes. Anyone who looks at him is instantly targeted by Vagibrine. APPEARANCE NOT CONFIRMED. YET... *VagiAmerica: the "Vagi" version of America (aka Alfred F. Jones) from Axis Powers Hetalia. *VagiPony:Monsters created by AwesomeCasey795/TheColorRedpwns. A "Vagi" version of characters from My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. Each have their own Abilites and traits. They can be seen here. An informational documentary on them can also be seen here. *Vemgineer:A moster created by MikotoNui.She is the female version of the Vagineer. this is her first appearance *Vagibot:A monster created by marcoDoctorwho.He is a Mann Vs. Machine robot version of Vagineer made by Gray Mann. He appeared the first time on the video "Vagineer and Vagibot discuss about Hurr" Of course all of these variations aside from Engina have exceptions: some specimens that behave vastly different from their peers. Abilities ﻿The character has many odd abilities at its disposal. As with faults, Vagineers' abilities vary from individual to individual. *The ability to launch off limbs as grappling hooks or projectiles. *The ability to regurgitate sticky, white fluid resembling whitewash or semen from its mouth. *The ability to mutate a victim into a "Vagi"-faced variation like this. *Limb regeneration. *Counter-attacks. *The Bugler possesses Doc Jarate's Bugle, allowing him to summon Snyphurr. *Ear Rape growl, which make his victims' heads explode. *High resistance to damage and effects of Gmod monster abilities. *Some Vagineers - rare but not unheard of - can regenerate completely from a sufficient mass, similar to the liver. This could be considered parthenogenesis. *Certain extremely rare types of vagineer are capable of replication through dismemberment; regenerating new bodies from large flesh-chunks. A vagineer of this type could be cut in half (both halves would regenerate bodies) and form two vagineers. *There have been many instances of Vagineers enlarging their heads temporarily in order to ingest people or large objects in one gulp. They can also jump up and slam their enlarged head down on an enemy to crush them. *Like Engineers, they are able to construct buildings, although they have a tendency to build them upside-down; also, they are more inclined to use Dispensers as thrown weapons rather than for healing. *In the VSH mod, vagineer is able to self übercharge (Based on the rage meter filled by damage taken). In the Gmod reality, only a handfull of BLU vagineers are capable of this. Faults The faults and "weaknesses" of a Vagineer vary from individual to individual. Some may have close to none, others may be helplessly handicapped, but all of them share a common inability: they are not immune to detrimental effects caused by the active abilities of other GMod Monsters, such as Snyphurr's stone gaze (in the rare case that Snyphurr attacks Vagineer), the loud screams of Crazy Machine, Sewer Medic, Panis Cupcake and Assnick, the paranormal effects of Trolltizen's trollface, or the disabling psychic energy field that surrounds Pygas. The effects of these abilities are only temporary to a Vagineer (or last less time in the case of effects that are temporary as-is) but still serve their purpose. However, Gaypenis is the only character to destroy him except his ear rape attack. and the only way to stop him multiplying is killing the vagi parasite. too kill the parasite a character must put a grenade into a vagineer's mouth and then it goes into stomach and that kills it. Another possible way is to make it down to the vagineers stomach intact and kill it from the inside. This has been done in the past by CBS. as seen here finally getting the drop on a vagineer can help to fight it or damage it, but generally does not kill it. BLU Vagineer relies on Snyphurr most of the time, if Snyphurr confronts a more powerful freak and gets defeated, BLU Vagineer is left defenceless. Themes There is no official Vagineer theme as of now, but here are a couple contenders: Vagineer's theme Vagineer's rage theme Although these themes are indeed used, many think that the most suiting vagineer theme would be the tf2 song "More Gun" playing backwards. It's also known as "Less Gun" for various reasons. "More Gun" Backwards Or "Less Gun" Quotes *''Hurrrrrr!'' *''Rrrrrruh?'' *''Haimalooo!'' *''Ooooooooooooooob!'' *''Gottam!'' *''mattoG!'' *''Sey kceh!'' *''On kceh!'' *''Epon! (Sounds similar to "Wut")'' *''Nocab 'nikam... eeeeeeeewooooooooH!'' *''Yvarg maerC!'' *''Eneri thgindoog, hO!'' *''Yssis, ereh emoC!'' *''Thgir t'nia tsuj tahT!'' *''Yob, 'niyarp tratS!'' *''Yrtnes ham 'nippas hapS!'' *''Resnepsid ham 'nippas hapS!'' *''Retropelet ham 'nippas hapS!'' *''Resnepsid a 'nitcerE!'' *''Allef 'lil, detanimoD!'' *''Nos, elttem ham tset t'noD!'' *''Nos, ylurt srouy morf s'tahT!'' *''SseltuG!'' *''Ylgu er'ouy ...gniht rehtona dnA!'' *''Hctibavonos ay, naem enirevlow m'I!'' *''Rettauqs a sekil ydoboN!'' *''Ecaf diputs ruoy ffo thgir kool bmud taht wolb annog m'I, noS!'' *''Krow fo eceip enif a saw ereht tahT!'' *''Teg ay tahw s'tahT!'' *''Ytrohs, nam a ekil ti ekaT!'' *''mattoGmattoGmattoGmattoG!'' *''norom a fo eutats a 'nitcerE!'' Trivia *In some videos featuring Vagineer and Painis Cupcake, they fight to death, but in other videos they become friends. They have even been shown "dating" on one occasion. *Some videos feature more docile, even helpful Vagineers. *If a Vagineer does not find food for 3 months, he will become a normal engineer again. *In the Versus Saxton Hale Mod, Vagineer is one of the default monsters, along with Christian Brutal Sniper. *Vagineers don't always kill or eat their victims. In one video, Engineer Hates Vagineer, a BLU Vagineer was implied to have been masturbating on Engie's sentries. *Sometimes when a Vagineer "dies", it drops a dispenser in it's place. *A Blu Vagineer is sometimes known as the Mountain Vagineer, it is a peaceful version that do not eat meat. They do befriend a zombie and help it to move on to its destination. In one Gmod video by Bormachine "Heavy Joins the Army", the RED Vagineer is seen as a terrorist leader known as Vagineer Bin Laden (Parody of Osama Bin Laden) and BLU Heavy and Engineer go to war to defeat him. In a episode where Red Heavy chases a baby version of him a Red Vagineer guards a road that is closed and when Heavy comes up to the road the Vagineer says in Vagineer speech and his words in English word are closed captions say " ROAD CLOSED STOP NO"! Videos *First Vagineer video ever *Vagineer *VAGINEER HAS SOMETHING TO SAY *Everyone Says Vagineer *PAINIS CUPCAKE MEET VAGINEER *TF2 Freak Fight, Painis Cupcake VS Vagineer *Vagineer is hungry *Vagineer is hungry 2 *Vagineer is hungry 3 *Engina *Soldine vs. Vagineer *VAGINEER APOCALYPSE *Vagineer at ctf_turbine *Rise Of The TF2 Monsters Part 1 *Rise Of The TF2 Monsters Part 2 *Vagineer and Engina *Painis Cupcake's Revenge Part 3 Category:Characters Category:GMod Monsters Category:Villains Category:Cannibals Category:Aliens